I have trained hundreds of coaches and met many more and it’s a very small percentage who truly commit to their craft, who continue to invest in themselves and their own growth once they have completed their foundation training. This isn’t just about further training and supervision which are both of huge value and are definitely under utilised, but what I am talking about here is who and what you are in all your relationships and your life as a whole.
Whatever your chosen profession is, can you claim to be walking your talk? Are you an authentic embodiment of what you teach, facilitate, coach about or offer as a philosophy?
If you are accessing supervision and further training it is more likely that you are holding yourself accountable to keep growing and learning but it’s not guaranteed. The teacher needs to be the student, the mentor the mentee and the coach the client in everyday life. How often are you reminded in interactions with others that what the other person needs to do is also what you need to do?
We all drift off course, we all fall back into the drama frequently and we all return to the ‘comfort’ of our familiar patterns, that’s ok, we deserve our own compassion when that happens. What isn’t helpful is to stay there, ducking out of our own responsibilities to ourselves, making excuses and colluding with the parts of us that are fearful, lazy and defiant. The victim who takes the perspective of disempowerment, the persecutor who makes everyone and everything else the problem or the rescuer- so busy with anyone else’s problems that they have the perfect excuse not to be responsible for themselves.
I am pretty confident that you will recognise what I am talking about here because I haven’t met anyone yet who doesn’t need to remind themselves frequently to ‘stay out of the drama’. We are constantly invited into the above roles as we go through our day to day lives; we all have the capacity to give our power away and try to take power from others because we are not conscious enough in that moment, dynamic or relationship to take full personal responsibility for ourselves, our decisions and choices.
So this blog is a call to you if you need it, to recognise when you need to recommit to walking your talk. If you offer a service that facilitates growth and expansion for others, are you growing and expanding? If you are asking clients to take responsibility for the reality they are creating, are you taking responsibility for yours? If you are encouraging others to be self compassionate and to invest time and energy into themselves, are you doing the same? Do you take time to nourish yourself and meet your own needs? Do you have someone in your life who stretches and inspires you, holding you accountable to your truth?
If any of these questions result in a ‘No’ then you are likely to be experiencing some level of discomfort, perhaps physical pain or dis-ease, mental interference or anxiety, maybe emotional imbalance. Whatever it is you are noticing, you are alerting yourself to a degree of misalignment, a level of disconnection from your core self. Not walking your talk will result in some kind of ‘pain’.
My own body has been speaking to me very loudly for a while now, alerting me to a need for course correction and finally I have had the courage to do something about it. It has taken a willingness to self reflect, to be honest, to be open to the feedback of others and to act on awareness when it comes. This isn’t the first time and won’t be the last that I have had to look at a behaviour which is deeply embedded and ask for help to change it.
Don’t think you need to do this on your own but do be prepared to take ownership of the experience you are creating. Being in integrity and walking the path you believe in undoubtedly won’t be easy but it will be worth it.
Much love,
Sarah x
